


Crashing Tides

by bunbunbyuu



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angry Lance (Voltron), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Fist Fights, Gen, Heavy Angst, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Has Anger Issues, Langst, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2020-06-25 07:51:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19741360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunbunbyuu/pseuds/bunbunbyuu
Summary: "Lance, we've had enough of this attitude! You're being nothing short of-""Bratty? Snarky? Go on, Kettle! Perhaps another word to your fellow pot?" "The paladin gives a dark look over his shoulder, smirking at the scarlet burn crawling onto Shiro's face. Keith, standing behind him, looks at Lance as if he's dumb or something. And, you know what?He's pretty tired of that look.





	1. Crash

**Author's Note:**

> ive been out of the fandom for a while- but i forgot i wrote this a while ago. takes place when the theories of lances family dying was going on and i was like "oop yes"
> 
> also- two things! first, this takes place before the castle of lions is destroyed but during the time where keith is the black paladin and shiro is a clone second- i do not speak spanish so if there is anything wrong in here please let me know so i can fix it and make all of my readers happy!! thank you for reading this, i didnt sleep at all lol
> 
> so, without further introduction, enjoy! :)

  


When Lance was younger, he was diagnosed with IED- short for Intermittent Explosive Disorder. 

  


Now, Lance knew from as long as he can remember that he was angry. When his twin sister would take his toys without asking him or his mom? 

  


_"Lance Alejandro McClain! What in the world do you think you're doing?! Detenlo ahora!" His mother screamed from the doorway, watching how infuriated her son was as he hit his sister over and over and over._

His family had watched him throw things, break things, scream words his mother wouldn't even dare to repeat- but besides that, he was a good kid. Tried his hardest in school, stood up for the underdog, etc. etc. 

  


It was when his Granpa died he turned for the worse. Weeks of yelling and crying and being so _angry_ not only at his family but himself. For not being around enough, for not talking enough, whatever he could come up with. This was around the time he went to his first-ever anger counseling. He still remembers how dumb he felt doing some of the tests, but after 10 years of therapy and medication, he was proud he did as the doctor ordered him to.

  


He was proud of himself for being able to tame the beast that was his anger and hatred. He learned to laugh instead of throwing fists, turning other's anger into happiness. It was his pride, his joy, and he wouldn't let anyone take it from him. He can still remember the first time he told his mother that.

  


_His mother at the kitchen table, a glass of wine in hand as she watched her young boy dance around the room with his acceptance letter. Veronica was giving her mom a side-eye smirk. The woman only laughed, pointing at Lance. "After givin' that kind of speech? I couldn't wait till the family reunion next week! Estoy muy orgulloso de ti, Lance!"_  


  


Being so far from home would make him lose his grip sometimes, but he would still hold onto the Lance his mother's so proud of. 

  


Things on the Castle of Lions were quiet as usual on calm days like these. Lance appreciated them the most, to no one's surprise. It let him take his time with his morning meditation, daily stretches, and it allowed him to take his medication in privacy. 

  


That is if he still had his medication. 

  


He knew the day would come where he ran out of his meds, and that day came two weeks ago. He may seem fine now, but that doesn't mean he's any less worried about what might come later on. But that's not what he's worried about.

  


Right now, he's worried about the three paladins charging straight at him. Keith and Hunk with smiles on their faces and Pidge holding what looks like an internet adaptor. Cords swung close to her feet, almost screaming trip hazard. 

  


"Lance! Lance you idiot, _move_!" 

  


The young girl pushed him aside easily, the trio booking it down the hallway and turning at the corner. 

  


Almost instantly, he heard another loud set of footsteps behind him. Shiro and Coran, running _much_ faster than the three he saw before. As he met Shiro's eyes, he silently pointed at the corner they turned at, smiling at the shaking thumbs up he gave in return. 

  


He continues down the hall to the dining area, only to find Allura.

  


"Sitting and brooding? I thought that was Keith's job.." Lance smiles in her direction, but all he gets in return is a shrug.

  


Ok, odd.

  


He scoops up two goo-filled bowls, placing one down in front of her. She looks at the bowl, refusing to look at his face. The red paladin frowns, waving a hand in front of her face.

  


"Hey, is there something up? Why're you looking so glum?" Lance leans forward, examining her face a lot better than before. 

  


Her eyes, red and puffy, look up at Lance. He straightens up his posture, worried about his friend. "What happened?" 

  


Allura sniffles, before standing. She walks in the direction of the castle radio coms, signaling Lance to follow. 

  


The air in the room seems cold and prickly as he walks in. The princess is already typing away at the holographic keyboard as he steps closer. His jacket seems useless- his body feeling like it's freezing.

  


"Jesus, Allura- it's really cold in here.." Lance begins but is ignored by the princess as she brings up an audio file. 

  


"Listen, Lance...I- I don't know how you'll react to this, but I want you to know something beforehand." The princess sniffles again, wiping at her face with her handkerchief.

  


The paladin nods, but confusion leaks through. "Uh..okay...?" 

  


Allura sighs, grabbing Lance by the arm. "If...if you want to leave...after this- I won't blame you. I didn't want to do this in front of everyone because of the circumstances of this audio...I would feel that to be unkind to you, Lance. I find you an incredible ally to this team, but I would like for you to put your own health before others this once."

  


Lance, nearly speechless, nods at her words. "Okay, then...uh, audio?"

  


The princess hits play, then she's out the doors leading to her room. He turns towards the screen, watching the audio waves as the message plays.

  


" _Mi hijo, Lance..."_

  


He feels his blood run ice cold, eyes widening at the oh-so-familiar voice. The voice that helped him tame his temper tantrums. The voice that would bandage up him and his friends when they got themselves hurt. The voice that helped him learn to become who he is. 

  


" _Lance, I don't have a lot of time...I don't even know if you can hear this- but if you do...I love you. I love you so very much, Lance. Te amo, mi hijo..I'm afraid your sister and I are going to be with grandpa very soon"_

The tears run thick down his cold cheeks, hands trembling. He _hates_ the Galra. He hates them. He hates them hehatesthemhEhA _TESTHEM_ -

_"..and that's okay. We'll be okay, my son. You couldn't save us, but you can save so many more. They...I...I think they'll be gone soon...The Garrison is shooting them off...I love you, my boy. I love you so very much...stay safe, eat well, and know one thing- Estoy increiblemente orgulloso de ti..So proud..hmm...wh? Veron-"_

  


The message ends, and Lance can feel his heart shrink. His lungs tighten, his blood boils, he feels his nails pierce the skin of his palm-.

  


And then, he's calm. 

  


Not the good kind of calm- the horrible kind of calm. 

  


The kind of calm that lets you think of every little detail of how to shred your enemies in agony. The kind of calm that comes before the searing pain. The kind of calm that comes before a horrendous storm that wipes out thousands. 

  


That storm was named Lance. 

  


He leaves the room, walking out the entrance of the kitchen before bumping into Pidge. Unlike the Pidge before, she no longer has cables dangling at her feet. Good. 

  


The gremlin growls at Lance, "Hey, you idiot! Watch where you're goin-" 

  


In a flash, Lance is directly in her face. The girl steps back, shock written all over her face. The boy gives her a nasty glare, before speaking. 

  


"If you call me an idiot...one...more...time. I will hunt down every solid piece of equipment you've collected so far on our little _fun_ space-ship ride around the universe and break it into a million pieces, understood?" Lance spoke with such anger the younger visibly shrunk in on herself, nodding silently. She saw the anger in Lance's eyes glimmer before turning her head away in fear. 

  


Without another word, Lance let go. He heads to grab his bayard before going to the training room. The silence of the castle is near-deafening, besides his footsteps and the loud beating of his heart. He knows when he's about to snap- but right now, all he wants to do is break things.

  


The doors open to Keith and Shiro sparring, _like usual_ , but this time they're using the same falling-traps the team did long ago.

  


Long ago when his _mother_ was still _alive_. Long ago when his _sister_ was still _alive_.

  


He shuts the system down, and he watches as Keith loses his balance and falls to the ground right as the holes close up.

  


"What the hell, Lance?" Keith glares at Lance. The red paladin doesn't respond and instead holds his bayard up, looking at Shiro. "I need this room to myself for a while." 

  


Shiro and Keith look at each other with a stunned look, before laughing. The sound only feeds the angry beast inside of his deep gut as he pushes past the two of them, crouching to getting himself set up. 

  


"Training, huh? Where'd this new Lance come from?" Shiro laughs, "Is it you Lance, or is it a shapeshifter?" Keith smirks.

  


"Y'kno, Lance- we could all just train together. Guess your paper-plane brain couldn't compute that.."

  


Lance's back is turned against them as he stands, bayard in hand. It hasn't taken form yet, mainly because Lance is still trying to figure out which weapon he wants to fuck shit up with. The boy lets out a breathy laugh, before turning around. "My paper-plane brain, huh? Well...if you ask me, it was _my_ paper-plane brain who saved your dumb ass from killing this entire team just because you had a _hunch_." Keith's eyes widen along with Shiro, the older of the three giving the black paladin a disappointed look. 

  


"I believe it was also _my_ paper-plane brain that gave you the option to leave, hm? Joining the Blade of Mimosa or some bullshit-"

  


"Hey!"

  


"Language!"

  


"I think my paper-plane brain has done many good things in your favor, Kogan." He spits his last name out like a disease, turning away from the two to ponder over which could break more: a shot-gun, or a sniper...

  


"Lance, I think you need to calm down a bit." Shiro places a hand on his shoulder. Lance physically yanks his entire body away, glaring at the man before continuing his previous actions. 

  


"I don't need help from some wanna-be dad, m'kay? I have my own family, so don't do that." His voice goes soft around his family and the anger rattling in his soul is the kind he hasn't felt in a while.

  


"Lance, we've had enough of this attitude! You're being nothing short of-"

  


"Bratty? Snarky? Go on, Kettle! Perhaps another word to your fellow pot?" "

  


The paladin gives a dark look over his shoulder, a horrible smirk climbing on his lips at the scarlet burn crawling onto Shiro's face. Keith, standing behind him, looks at Lance as if he's dumb or something. And, you know what?

  


He's pretty tired of that look.

  


"Got something to say, oh wise Black Paladin?" Lance faces Keith, arms crossed and an extremely fake smile prominent. 

  


Keith scoffs, shoving at Lance. "Listen, I don't know if it's cause of your home-sickness or whatever, but that doesn't give you the right to go off on us. We were in here, minding our own business- just because mama's boy isn't there-" 

  


A strong fist collides with the face of Keith Kogan- followed by another one. Blood paints the white tile of the floor as Lance hits him over and over and _over_ , his blood mixing with that painted on Keith's entire face. Keith kicks and pushes, but Lance has centered all of his weight onto the center of Keith's person, making it nearly impossible for him to be thrown off at this rate. 

  


"FUCK! YOU! YOU! DUMB! BITCH!" Lance hits harder and harder before a metal arm is tossing him far back. A groan escapes him as he watches Shiro run over to Keith's heavily-beaten face, a look of concern. Then, there's anger imbedded in Shiro's features as the oldest one stands, striding over to Lance on the floor. 

  


Lance avoids looking at him, eyes fixated on the wall with small splatters of blood. Shiro grabs him by his collar, pulling him up and close. 

  


Shiro sighs, and pulls the boy up to his feet. He looks disappointed, and Lance doesn't want to admit how it stings to see your childhood hero with such a gaze. 

  


"Lance, I don't know what's gotten into you, but you need to go find somewhere to cool down and figure it out. I'm going to get Keith to the healing pod, then I expect to see you for those knuckles. Is that understood?"

  


Lance looks up at Shiro before nodding. It's only then Shiro really sees how tired and pained and _sad_ Lance is. His thoughts are cut off by a short "Yes, sir." and the soft sounds of his footsteps.   


  


"Lance?" 

  


He turns, looking on the verge of crying and screaming all together. Shiro rubs his eyes, pressure from stress building up into a headache. "I'm sure Hunk is doing some maintenance on yellow, so if you need him you can find him there."

  


The only response he gets is a curt nod, before he's gone. 


	2. Ripples and Waves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy. fucking. shit. i am so sorry for not updating in such a long time. if im being honest, i kinda forgot about it. i was actually gonna write a danganronpa fic when i saw this one and how many kudos it had and holy HELL was i not expecting that. ive read all your comments. I've read them many many times and i am so thankful you all enjoyed it so much. i didnt think people would even WANT another chapter, so im really really happy. 
> 
> anyways, please enjoy this long over due ending!!

"I knew this was going to happen eventually. I knew that. I just... I wasn't expecting it to come so out of left-field like this." 

Shiro's words echoed off the pale walls of the clinic, applying antiseptic to the open gashes on Keith's cheekbones. The elder of the two met the black paladin's eyes before reaching into the first aid kit. Keith was considering just throwing himself into a healing pod if it weren't for the painful headache that follows after. He felt the stick of bandages pull on his face as he spoke. "What are you talking about?"

Shiro sighed as he stood, removing himself to pack up the contents of the first aid kit. He turned his head briefly in address, never removing his sight from the supplies in front of him. "I've...learned a lot of things from the Galra." 

Keith felt himself tense up from surprise. Over the vast amount of time they've spent together, Keith could count the times he talked about his imprisonment on one hand _alone_. 

The elder continued. "When I was in that arena, I had to adapt quickly. Learn the tells of the opponent. How they moved, how they thought-"

The click of the kit closing shut rang through the short silence as Shiro turned. 

"-and how they felt." 

Keith's confusion must have shown in his expression. He saw his friend chuckle with amusement. He knew his friend was a good person, but to consider a life threat's emotions? It didn't make sense.

"I know what you're thinking. Something about why I'd have to consider someone's feelings in a fight if they were trying to kill me, right?" The brunet jerked in surprise. "Yeah, to most that wouldn't seem that important. In reality, however, it's probably the most important. The way a person is feeling effects their actions no matter how hard they try not to let it. When someone's scared, they make hasty decisions. When someone's happy, they show more self-confidence. When someone's angry..." A wince flickers across the elder's expression. "Anger is the most dangerous emotion. You should know from experience."

Keith nods, looking at the white tiles from shame. He feels the words tumble out of his mouth, sounding slightly sheepish. "Yeah...yeah, I know."

"The more you bottle it up, the bigger the explosion." Shiro points a directed thumb towards the doors.

"I'd say judging from that, Lance has been bottling things up for a _very_ long time."

Suprise hit him at the sudden realization, head rising fast. " _What?_ Are you _serious?_ "

Shiro's expression didn't falter. "It seems hard to believe, I know. It's hard for me to believe it either."

"There's no way...no _way_ that's possible!" He felt anger creep into his tone. "If Lance was upset about something, he would tell us."

" _Are you sure?_ "

The words were a slap to the face, leaving him stunned. Of course he was sure! Lance was his frie- no, _family_. He knew Lance like the black lion's controls. He was sure Lance would have told them if there was something wrong. Why wouldn't he?

The sound of the door's opening brought him out of his haze, revealing Hunk. Blood was dripping from his nose into the palm of his hand. The conversation hung in the air like a ghost, giving them an idea of what happened. He could tell his expression must have been priceless, but to see Shiro stunned was something else entirely.

"Wh- what?! What happened?" Shiro's voice landed on deaf ears as Hunk walked past the two towards the medical supplies. "Hunk?"

"Lance's family is dead."

* * *

He was so tired.

So tired of being called dumb, of being called slow, loud, annoying, narcissistic, etcetera. Etcetera. Etcetera. And for what? Why was he doing this? What was he here for? The people he loved the most were gone. Dead. Obliterated by lasers or some other horrifying option the Galra have at their disposal.

He shouldn't have hit Hunk.

The yellow paladin had come to him seeking his advice. For the first time in a very long time, Lance felt like he was useful. He felt himself become calm at the company.

That was the best thing about Hunk. Sure his comedic remarks made Lance laugh, but it was that calming effect that washed over him like a wave. The man was a walking teddy bear and he loved him for it.

Then he talked about Earth.

He talked about the foods his mother would teach him recipes for. The smile of his siblings. The blue sky, the cotton clouds, the salty sea, the soft sand. It reminded him of home.

It reminded him of what he lost.

"Can you stop?"

He didn't realize till now that was his voice. The hollow bitterness leaking from the sentence surprised even him. He had felt Hunk's eyes on him as he looked over the blueprints he brought. He may not be one for building things, but he has a keen eye when it comes to design.

"Dude are you...hey, what happened to your hand?"

"I think if you wanna give this some pazazz you should try and focus on complementary colors-." Everything felt distant.

"Lance. What's wrong? You love talking about Eart-"

"Yeah, well, that's when my family was still alive. Things change when that sort of thing happens I guess. Who knew, right?"

He heard the quick drag of his chair as he stood. One foot after the other. He just...he needed to be alone.

Everything felt so far.

The touch of a hand.

The fleeting feel of air resistance.

The sickening crunch that reverbed through empty silence.

The blood trickling down his hand.

He remembers the heaviness of his body as he walked himself to his room. From guilt or tiredness, he'll never know for sure. The ring of his door locking. The slow drag to his bed. He remembers the vast darkness that engulfed him, and he instantly wished he would never awaken from it.

* * *

A thud from his door was the only warning he got before his door was forcefully opened. 

Well, more like _completely fucking obliterated._

The glow of Shiro's arm stabbed through the alien metal like warm butter, releasing a foul stench. 

"What the _fuc-_ "

A loud deafening thud as his door was kicked down, revealing his team.

Everyone was standing around the entrance, a look of hesitance. All but Shiro, who showed no signs of doubt. He stepped through, the others following. Lance's voice came out, rough and offending.

"What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing? Get out. I don't want you here!" His teammates didn't stop, marching closer to his bed. What the hell is going on? Was Shiro here to punch the shit out of him for earlier? Or maybe yell at him for not coming to the infirmary? _What the fuck is happening-_.

He felt his body be man-handled for a short moment before feeling the warmth of another person against him. A pair of sturdy arms engulfed his frame, holding him secure. The beat of their heart was deafening against his eardrum. Slowly he felt more. Warmth surrounded Lance, a comfort he didn't know he needed. A gentle squeeze, before he felt the vibrations of Shiro's voice.

"We're so sorry, Lance."

_What._

"We know we're not anything like your real family, but we're still going to be here for you. No matter what-"

" _What-_ " 

"-happens, or what you do, we're always going to care for you."

"Stop."

Shiro's mouth clamped shut, looking down at the red paladin. He couldn't see his expression well, but the shakiness of his voice said everything he needed to know. 

Hunk's voice rang out. "We're so so-"

" _Why are you apologizing?_ _!"_ His voice was raw. Anger and aggression oozing from him. Allura, Coran, and Pidge tensed. Keith clenched his teeth. 

"It. Was. _Me!_ " Warm wet tears soaked into the fabric of Shiro's shirt. "I'm the problem! You guys- You guys didn't do anything! It's my fault! I'm- I'm _so sorry. I'm so so sorry. Lo siento mucho._ "

Sobs racked his body, shaking him whole. His cries were guttural and raw, his pain bringing those around him to tears. Pidge's quiet sniffles, Keith's soft tremble, he heard it all. He could feel it. The years of anger that disappeared without a trace for years made its return as it seeped into his throat and crawled its way up. The screams of agony echoed through the castle and he knew his voice would be gone for a few days.

When he calmed, he felt a hand tilting his head. Shiro locked eyes with him, red and puffy. His voice was choppy as he spoke. "We're here, Lance. We're here."

It was hours later when they sat around Pidge's computer as she streamed some comedy special that had Coran rolling around cackling like a mad man. Emotional screams and sobs had snuffed down to small sniffles and raspy comments. Keith and Shiro radiated warmth as they trapped him in the middle.

_("Say, Shiro?"_

_He felt the elder turn towards him, following his digit pointing towards the remains of his entrance._

_"Did you have to kick down my door?"_

_"You're fault for not answering after the 50th knock." A playful smack against the back of Lance's head as Keith answered.)_

Over time, his wound would heal. He'll cry when he finds out Shiro was a clone, and he'll scream when he loses Allura, but he knows he can never give up. He can't

He owes it to them to try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for your support. it really means a lot to me <3.

**Author's Note:**

> "whaaat thats how it ends??" well- that's how i ended it then, yea, but i wanted to write another chapter cause i dont like how it's just stopped. so, stay tuned for a second chapter! i know im not the best at writing, but even if i bring a smile to your face that makes me happy!! have a wonderful day everyone 
> 
> also- for the record- lance is meant to be the one acting like an asshole right now, but i really wanted it to seem justifiable? if you were in his condition, i think most people would be frustrated and even more so if your being insulted. allura is also supposed to be more of a sister-friend? thats why she was worried, since he talks about his family a lot! anyways, ill see you guys in the next one!


End file.
